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Screening

Another particularly sticky topic as of late...screening.

I don't particularly care that you have 52 P411 okays or 84 TER whitelistings. That tells me absolutely nothing other than you enjoy your selected hobby. What I do care about is that I choose my friends very carefully and want to ensure a date filled with fun. I cannot be comfortable or feel safe if I were to just see "anybody", and you should be far more concerned with ladies that take those "okays" and "whitelistings" as the gospel. Let me explain why...

First, okays and whitelistings are totally subjective. What might be okay for one lady isn't anything I'd ever be content with. I've had many a reservation where he was "okayed", only to find myself thinking..."exactly on what PLANET would this be okay?!"... And many ladies give out okays and whitelistings when he's not okay in fear of retaliation/a bad review. Therefore, I take references with a grain of salt, and only in addition to other factors involved, as a part of the whole process.

Many times, reference requests are never answered for a slew of various reasons anyway, or they are provided without much thought. Often times the responses I get from other ladies consist of "he's okay". That's it. I often provide details in my reference responses to enable the other lady to have a better time, such as "He was so much fun! He was clean, safe, respectful and very interesting to speak with regarding 19th century American literature. I wouldn't hesitate to see him again!". Maybe she doesn't get into lit, but now she has an ice-breaker if she wants it...

Secondly, I refuse to spend time with convicted criminals. Therefore, your REAL, FULL NAME is crucial for me to have. I do not store this information, no one that would ever somehow end up in my phone would ever know who you are. I don't use this information in any way, shape or form, other than to verify your identity. I'm not trying to gather info on who you are to destroy your life. I don't want to steal your identity. My goal is a repeat adventure with a select few. I've worked far too hard to gain the stellar reputation I have to throw it away on one person.

Last, you can never tell what you're getting into by just taking okays and whitelistings...true story from a couple days ago...a gentleman (and I use that term loosely in his regard) filled in my form AFTER giving me a bit of flack over not just taking his P411 okays. I uncover 2 separate blacklist reports back to 2010 for him having herpes. But the herpes reports were linked to his name. Had I just accepted his P411 okays, I would've never uncovered this information. Even more shocking, he's had over a dozen P411 okays in the 5 subsequent years since the herpes reports. At this point, there's NO WAY I would see him, but just out of pure curiosity, I checked with him and three of his recent P411 references and here's what they said:

-The Gentleman: "I didn't know I needed a medical review to see a ‘whore’"...

-P411 Reference 1 & 2 (they saw him together): "It would be hard to say who in this business you got herpes from"...

-P411 Reference 3: "What blacklist? I don't check those. I saw him because he had 14 recent P411 okays"...

And that, my friends, is why I CANNOT take okays and whitelistings as the end all, be all, and I'm not convinced you should feel safe with a provider that does so! He clearly made up a fake name on P411 to continue getting what he wanted all the while putting numerous ladies in danger. Gross!

In closing, don't attempt to circumvent my screening either, I will find out, and there is something especially creepy about lying to someone to get a date. If you do not like the way I do it, that's perfectly okay, and you should simply move on. I won't bend my safety standards for anyone. I do indeed understand the idea of discretion, but it's not the same as anonymity. Ask anyone that's seen me if they regret trusting me : )

*A side note to all of the P411 gents that feel okays should be the end all, be all: P411 can and will suspend your membership if you refuse to show a lady your ID...*